For the last couple of decades, parents have gone out of their way to make sure their children are occupied most of the day. But the truth is, a dose of boredom is mentally healthy for children and they don’t get enough practice at managing it!
I think the reasons we keep our children so very "occupied" these days probably stem from a number of disparate things, such as:
Possibly, too, a measure of guilt springs up because there are so many sources online telling us how to be good parents that unless we attend to “parenting” every spare minute, we feel somehow a failure. Scotch that thought. It's not true.
So in this post, I’m going to give a few good reasons why boredom is mentally healthy for your child.
But first, this is what letting them get bored looks like:
Worried your friends will look askance as your child is left to find something to do without your help??
That's the very reason I've assembled these irrefutable reasons why experiencing boredom is mentally healthy. So that you have some answers to give gainsayers!
Here goes…
1 It encourages their creativity and imagination
On the few times you’ve been busy and let them get bored, have you noticed how – in the end – they invent a game, or find a new use for an old toy, or start drawing something? Their imagination has kicked in – because that’s what brains do eventually!
2 Boredom helps them develop problem-solving skills
Figuring out what to do with their time for themselves is in fact “problem-solving”. They create a solution rather than relying on you for constant entertainment. Resourcefulness will look great on their CV!
3 Emotional regulation improves
You’ll witness how their pleas for entertainment gradually subside and their annoyance fades. Patience and resilience comes to their rescue, and you find they’ve tolerated the discomfort and managed their feelings pretty well. You can even praise them for this at a later date.
4 Their sense of what excites their spirit grows
Without constant stimulation, children can develop more into “themselves”. What interests them will spring first to mind, and they’ll explore that instinctively. In effect, a period of boredom has given them the chance to experiment and figure out what truly engages and excites them. And this may well be more fulfilling for them than anything you might have suggested or organised!
5 They get some mental rest and can think better
It’s pretty certain that at school, with their day marshalled every minute, they have not thought for themselves or settled any issues that happened. Think of boredom as a quiet, unstructured moment that provides an opportunity for this to happen. Their brain takes a rest! Downtime is important for their mental health. Stress is not.
6 Their social skills develop
Living so much of their social life online (when they eventually have a smartphone) means their social interractions are simply not real. They can instantly blank anyone who annoys them, or take time to think of a reply before texting. If children get bored when together, they’re more likely to interact with and learn from each other in a real way. If they’re not online, they have to sort out issues then and there. No hiding behind screens!
It’s hard not to give in to a child who nags to be occupied, isn't it?
If it helps you crack this nut, tell them to find something to do for X minutes (name a time appropriate for your child’s age), and set the pinger. Less for the younger ages, up to an hour for older ones.
Simply say you have things to do and will give them your full attention when the pinger goes.
Even mention what you will both do at that point – because the thought of your attention helps them go off and entertain themselves! Just don't be late!! Go for it?